Day 6 of the blog challenge! Today’s assignment is about asking for help. Most people struggle with this, and I am certainly no exception. I have always been pretty independent. As a child, I always wanted to try things for myself, rather than have my parents help me. In school, I usually ended up doing all the work for group projects because I wanted to make sure the project was done right.
I have pretty much been on my own since college, so I learned to take care of things for myself. I could come and go as I pleased. If I needed something from a store, or if I had a church meeting, I never had to worry about being able to go. I took care of myself.
Since then, I have had to shift my thinking. About a year ago, I was diagnosed with a genetic blood disorder. The side effects of this disorder ultimately led to me losing most of the vision in one eye. I am no longer able to drive anywhere and everywhere. I can’t drive in the dark or if it’s raining/snowing more than just a light drizzle. I am not supposed to drive in unfamiliar settings unless I have someone with me to help make sure I’m going the right way. Needless to say, my previous level of independence has decreased. Throughout this process, I’ve had to learn to ask for help, especially to get around at night.
Why is it so hard for most people to ask for help? Dealing with significant health or family issues is one thing, but when it comes to seemingly little things, we don’t want to admit we need help once in a awhile. Is it stubbornness? Pride? Maybe a little of both.
As I have had to ask for help more often, there are some things I’ve learned.
- People want to help – I admit I tend to be a bit cynical when it comes to others’ motives (something I’m working on), so I usually have a hard time trusting others. But thankfully, I have a few close friends who have proven they will help without expecting anything in return. While I do want to return the favor, I know they help me, and others, because they genuinely want to hlep.
- I can’t do everything – While I have become accustomed to doing everything for myself, I know things have changed. I’ve had to let go of a bit of the control I once had. As an example, there was a concert I wanted to go to a while back, but it was in a different city. I couldn’t drive myself because it would be dark. None of my friends wanted to go and/or had other things going on. I ended up missing the concert. As much as I wanted to go, in the grand scheme of life, it wasn’t a big deal to miss a concert.
- Focus on priorities – While it’s been hard adjusting to not being able to come and go whenever I wanted, I have found that having more time at home has been good in some ways. I have had more time to write, which is my ultimate goal. While I do miss going to evening events at church or to night baseball games, I have a long list of things I want to do at home.
- Is it hard for you to ask others for help? Are there certain people you depend on more than others when it comes to asking for help?
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